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Complimenting a stranger


Complimenting a stranger…. sounds so weird right? First time when someone,,, not someone actually a dear friend when asked me “Why can’t we compliment a stranger? What’s wrong in doing so?” it sounded weird for me too. Reading my previous post and then after having a small discussion on the same sort of topics he asked “What’s wrong is complimenting a stranger?”

Imagine you are walking in a mall with your friends and you come across a very beautiful girl (it’s different that all gals are beautiful) that your eyes wide open in “awww“ but do you approach her and say “You’re beautiful” ? Is it advisable first of all? One of my friend said “What’s the need?” where as another says “Why not? What’s wrong in telling someone that shez beautiful or hez handsome?” 🙄 .The difference in opinion is cz of the difference of 7 years approx between them I guess 🙄

Therez nothing wrong running in your mind and being a good boy your intention is as plain as the blank piece of paper (don mind the comparison), just you found her beautiful as she is, is it good if you confess it to her? Especially when she is just a mere stranger, is it good/advisable?

If you are a guy and do so, it’s so obvious that you will be welcomed with a stare that may be followed by a series of good {“bad”} words and end with her wrist and your teeth in pain 😛 . Though you weren’t stalking her or did any anti social act. All you did is just compliment.

If you are a gal, I can’t even imagine what the reaction could be like 😯 . And it makes no sense discussing it 🙄

Though compliment is just what you feel about some one and express to them,,, it definitely has some rules, that my dear friend doesn’t agree to and I’m still thinking how to make him understand those rules 🙄

Leave about guys, even if a gal whoz a complete stranger to you, approaches and compliments you for something let it be anything, I’m sure the opinion you make about her is not gonna be so good (Though it hardly matters being a stranger).

But why is that so? Same compliments when remarked by a kid or some one elder or old whoz a stranger draws a smile where as becomes a matter of fuss when remarked by someone young? Has social taboos stagnated our thinking nerves so much that we don’t want to think it the other way? Is it cz we are so accustomed to the customs of the society that it sounds absurd to us? Why we are not prepared to accept it just as a compliment and become offensive to such remarks? What’s wrong in it?

There were many such questions bombarded quoting examples and I’m still thinking or rather not able to conclude whoz right whoz wrong 🙄

*****************************************************************************************************

PS: @ Suteerth

This post is dedicated to you buddy,,, in celebration of our one year of friendship, our one year of continuous debates that we have had all these days 🙂 And i know we will surely have many more :mrgreen:

Wait for my next post for the conclusion 😛 as how can you conclude by yourself? 😉 Hmmm may be at least then we will be on same terms 🙂

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Categories: Random
  1. May 23, 2010 at 2:14 pm

    woww.. whattay question…
    no no seriously.. the idea is i dunno why but in our country we freak out when someone compliments us..
    and yes even if its a gal giving another gal a compliment…
    i remember we 4cousins went shopping in early 2006 cos one of them was gettin married.. all 4of us gals.. and we had been to a slightly high profile saree shop to gt designer saris for the wedding reception..
    there we saw another lady who we believe was buying for her own wedding trousseau..
    she was perfect.. figure/colour/features everything and the colour she chose was the cliched baby pink colour sarees u see in movies.. my sis-being from US went up to her ans said “you’r looking exquisite in that saree..you’re really looking beautiful”
    and that gal just gawked at my sis 😯 said “uh huh thanks” and my sis came back wondering wats wrong if someone compliments you… 🙄

    • May 23, 2010 at 2:37 pm

      Yup even such casual compliments are taken differently cz of our typical orthodox mind sets and this is the reason i feel its not wise to compliment a stranger 🙄
      You like, admire and keep it to yourself as he said “What’s the need to speak it out?” 🙄

  2. kaushik bose
    May 23, 2010 at 3:01 pm

    its really a topic of never ending discussion,there is no point in discussion something or the other. we all as responsible citizens are entitled wid the ryt to speak , but sometimes we have to keep our feelings to ourselves for the sake of not hurting the feelings of others, or sometimes in the fear of being taken wrong.

    • May 23, 2010 at 3:09 pm

      That’s the question Kaush ,,,why are we taken wrong? Even if you compliment with full mannerism you will be mistaken cz shez a stranger 🙄 why?

  3. Suteerth
    May 23, 2010 at 5:55 pm

    Dear Anu,

    Just like we discussed.
    there is nothing freaky or inappropriate in complimenting a stranger, neither is it that all compliments are taken with equal surprise. like if someone compliments your intellectual skills, or your art-creations, (or even your blogs :P) you will welcome it with a warm heart.

    it is only when sm1 compliments the other sex in the same age-group that we need so long discussions to judge its appropriateness.. 😛

    taking the discussion to another dimension- you do not feel awkward if a govt employee asks for bribery- though it is socially and morally wrong. but since you have been seeing it and you have accepted it you go with it. on the other hand sm1 complimenting a complete stranger is not common and so you find it hard to accept.

    The problem is the ever living social taboos and the “PARDAH SYSTEM” that we still follow… (though now without covering the faces) but boast of having got rid of them.
    we find it awkward merely because we have not been seeing it

    • May 24, 2010 at 3:28 am

      you will welcome it with a warm heart// We are not talking of those compliments Suteerth,, You know i never objected for those compliments rather only for those as we discussed :)But yup i agree even these compliments can be mistaken..

      so long discussions to judge its appropriateness.// again not those tat deals with your work/talent or something rather only those says “You’re beautiful/handsome/cute” things of only that sort 😛

      you do not feel awkward if a govt employee asks for bribery// Who said that? I completely disagree with you on this. Bribery is something, that even if you have to do to a govt employee or rather forced to do you will never be pleased with it unless you are in profit..

      sm1 complimenting a complete stranger is not common and so you find it hard to accept// It’s very much common …. People (at least guys) have been doing so from ages 😛 But had never been accepted in a right way as you know the judgement of intentions come there….and with strangers its pretty difficult to assume their intentions are right….

      though now without covering the faces) but boast of having got rid of them. // or may be its like still our society has not developed that much that we can be so sportive for such things…

      we find it awkward merely because we have not been seeing it// Yup i agree… if it’s the 1st time you find awkward,,but evn if for the second time any other stranger does,,you still will feel awkward only,,n even if you see it often,,,, it will seem to be awkward,,,, 🙂

      Wait for my next post for the conclusion… This was just to highlight few of your questions,,,,as there were many related to befriending a stranger and etc that i left for the time being 🙂

      Thanks for views buddy 🙂 and this was in celebration of our 1 year of debates 😀 forgot to mention in the post,,hmm will add now 🙂

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